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September 24 Endings and BeginningsI received this quote today in an e-mail. It was in reference to fall and how it's not an ending, but the chance for a new beginning. I think this applies to all areas of life, whether it's ending an old relationship and allowing, which allows us the opportunity for a new beginning, quiting a job only to find a new one, etc. I think this quote can be taken with us many places in life and when we're feeling unsure or down about something ending, remember.......
"Every finale serves as an overture for a new beginning." August 01 One of a KindI've got a one-of-a-kind man and my life is blessed! Griffin House
"The Guy that Says Goodbye is Out of His Mind"
You don't need to change
A thing about you babe I'm telling you from where I sit You're one of a kind Relationships I dont know why They never work out and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind I've been down and I need your help I've been feelin' sorry for myself Don't hesitate to boost my confidence Well I've been lost and I need direction I could use a little love protection What you say honey come to my defense I stand up for you if it's what you need And I can take a punch, I don't mind to bleed As long as afterwards you feel bad for me You give me all of your attention I've got deep desire and it needs quenching I think that's pretty plain for you to see well enough about me and more about you Because that'd be the gentlemanly thing to do I hope you like your men sweet and nice I thought I was done with telling you But I ain't nearly halfway through I've got a few more things Id like to say to you You dont need to change A thing about you babe I'm telling you from where I sit You're one of a kind Relationships I dont know why They never work out and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind, his mind You always did kinda drive me crazy And it pissed me off cuz I let it phase me But I never wanted my time with you to end Now I'm back in town for a day or two Mostly I came back just to see you And even now, I dont want to go You dont need to change A thing about you babe I'm telling you from where I sit You're one of a kind Relationships I dont know why They never work out and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind July 26 SurrenderThe Wisdom Of Surrender Resistance Equals Persistence We all know the feeling of being repeatedly haunted by the same issue, no matter how we try to ignore it, avoid it, or run away from it. Sometimes it seems that we can get rid of something we don’t want by simply pushing it away. Most of the time, the more we push away, the more we get pushed back. There are laws of physics and metaphysics that explain this phenomenon, which is often summed up in this pithy phrase: That which you resist persists. July 25 Love for who you are"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not to twist them with our own image, otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. " July 24 GlimpseAll I need is the slightest glimpse of life without you and my life is an empty shell. I have my hard outer cover, but nothing in between anymore. I truly try my hardest at being the best woman I can be and I know there are many times when I am and many times when I am not. I fight my battle and seem to always fall short and only find that I'm given up on and rejected. I know where I want my life to be and where I want to be with myself, but I fall off the wagon b/c I'm comfortable in my sea of insecurities. You may ask how, but how can you really ask knowing you won't understand b/c you have the confidence of a thousand me's. Our love is grand when it is good and something I never want to live without. I guess I'm just not worth taking the chance any longer b/c you don't believe in me. I believe in me b/c I know I will get where I want to be in life with who I am. I didn't think one question would turn into so much and had I known it would've I never would've said it. I feel lifeless today without any zest or will for life. All I want is to love and be loved.....................your words have a profound effect on me and the more I allow myself to believe the more secure I'll become...the more I feel loved and like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world to you, the more I'll start living it.
Why Me?
Our paths have crossed b/c we have a beautiful story to write, one which we've already started.
I didn't expect you when we found each other but every day I'm so thankful for the gift of you and us I'll never give up Never stop fighting Never stop loving Never let us stop being us July 23 SmileSometimes I get so focused on one thing I forget to take time to breathe. I have taken time to breathe and things seem so much more clear now! July 20 Other P.S.I looked up some stuff online and found this to be the rest outlook. especially the part about her being friends w/his wife. That's a good man who realizes the true value of an open, honest and loving relationship.
"My Dad used to laugh at me when I'd refer to a female friend as "she's just a friend". He'd always say the same thing; she's still a girl and you're still a boy and no matter what you believe you can't ever get far enough away from that fact.
Truth be told I've had many successful friendships with women in my lifetime. However in order for me to be friends with a woman these past twenty years (a.k.a. the length of time I've been with my wife) she would need to also be friends with my wife. No matter how honest or sincere or harmless it may be, a married man or woman should be overly cautious when maintaining friendships with the opposite sex. " Others"There are still pieces...she can't help but love him...someone will fill the space....."
Lyrics have nothing to do with my thoughts for today...
Some people think if they aren't hitting us or obviously mentally abusing us, that they aren't hurting us. But hiding things hurts us, manipulating hurts, dismissing someone hurts. I believe regardless of a situation you owe your lover the whole truth of anything that has happend while you are with them and when you don't give it makes the other person wonder what is there to hide. I understand not all people are as forthcoming as I am with information. That makes being involved with someone who isn't hard b/c I expect the same in return. Carrying on a relationship of any form with the opposite sex w/out telling your partner is a lie and some would construe as cheating. I do not construe such as cheating, as long as it stays within platonic friendship boundaries. I have nothing to hide. Some people have trouble accepting that when you're with someone your business is their business and their business is your business. I do not have trouble accepting that at all b/c that's how it is and should be. If I want to have secret private relationships and keep things to myself, I should be single, as should anyone. Trust is earned and doing things indirectly can make people untrusting...even if it's as little as not wanting to offer up information when asked. It's all about perspective...I perceive secrets as lying and lying for a reason. Anybody that I carry on any relationship with is shared with my partner b/c he is my partner...not just some rando friend that I do not have to tell things to. A partner should know everything there is to know b/c that's when they can trust you. However, when you hold back and act secretive it's hard to be so trusting. Don't tell me you are an open book, if you are not. Obviously some things have recently happened in my life and I found out in a very sneaky way b/c I did not feel like my partner told me everything about him b/c he was often elusive when I asked him questions. I know that gives me no reason to snoop, but being burned in the past has made me wiser, in a sense, and more aware of "signs." I would never think my man would cheat on my, but do feel keeping any relationship hidden from me is an issue and cause for slight discomfort on my part. I'm never allowed to speak of this to him, or he'll drop me...which makes it seem even more suspicious. I do trust his answers and explanations and him with my whole heart, but as I said there is some discomfort. I understand being angry about how I found out, but that does not mean you can make it/her disappear or the questions I have. So, once again, as usual, I need to keep my feelings in check, while he gets to go on about his business. I have to trust that he will no longer speak to her behind my back and say things I deem as inappropriate and if so, he will tell me. Life is about perspective as is this situation. I am under no false pretense that I did nothing wrong by invarding his personal space, but there should be nothing that he doesn't want me to see. I truly am an open book and will disclose any situation b/c it's who I am. I'll tell you about the tiniest situation w/a guy and the larges b/c I don't care if he knows. He's my partner and I should never not want to tell him anything, nor would I ever carry on a private relationship w/the opposite sex behind his back, unless I was possibly looking for more. I'm not saying that's what he was doing b/c we are differetn people...I just choose to do things that do not look suspicious. If he reads this, he may get angry, but this is my space and I'm free to write whatever I choose, as is he. I'm also not fearful of him finding it b/c if he knows my inner feelings...that's great b/c he's my forever and should!! July 19 Front RowEVERYONE CAN'T BE IN YOUR FRONT ROW... Life is like a theater, so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships, and even family! Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill or just standing still??? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things that are honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the BALCONY of your life. You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life. Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in Your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully. Everyone Can't Be in Your FRONT ROW. July 05 Celebrity look a-likesI'm thinking my celebrity look a-likes are hotter then me....haha!! It's funny how different poses change who I look like!!
  Although Matt doesn't care...here is who I'd be dating as a celebrity!! Although his results weren't good....so we're goign to have to find a better picture!! :o)     June 28 Quotes"I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split; it's shredded." - Jack Paar
June 27 BelowI do not match the description of his perfection
Tell me now how I'm suppose to feel beautiful
Everything I was is exactly what he'd want
I hear it calling my name so many times in a day............... June 18 BittersweetThere comes a time when you realize life is bittersweet and you miss something you thought you wouldn't. We go through life everyday not realizing the subtle changes in who we are and how we feel about things and then, as though out of the blue, you realize how bittersweet parting was and you ask if it was worth it. When we're in a situation we make a choice and we follow through and often times we do not think it through enough and other times we do. I cannot guarantee that thinking it through is best or going on your impulse b/c I've done it all with each one have the same bittersweet feeling years down the road. It's only a stage we go through b/c just as we made the choice to leave something behind, we make the choice to leave that feeling behind and march forward with the we were leading and ignore the hiccup we encounter. Life has a many hiccups that hit you at the strangest times, and for me they are usually when I'm in a period of transition, whether it be life, love, work, inner-healing or inner-hate. I feel as though I'm in a transition right now, however this one is different b/c I feel as though it's been going in a circl for awhile now and I'm not a fan of circles.....I like lines, although my lines have never been straight, they are still lines nonetheless. The only circle I like to get caught in is one of exercise and taking care of my body and mind. I'm sure the bittersweet feelings I'm having lately are b/c last time I felt as though I as in a circle I left something behind and knew in parting it was bittersweet and that'd I'd look back someday and wonder what if........ However, I never thought I'd find myself in a similar situation, but for different reasons and reasons I should not be. They are for the person I am, who should be loved with understanding. I have issues, as we all do, although mine can be ugly at times. I have a significant amount of insecurity in a relationship b/c I do not value myself highly enough, and therefore do not think anyone else should, which leadds me to insecurities and doubt about love and committment. I do the best I can to be the best I can and in other areas I make up what I lack in security, which for most would be enough, but for someone it isn't. We can only do the best we have in life with what we are given and we all have tolerance when it comes to accepting others and who they are and what they offer. I refuse to be someone's perfection b/c as it says above I am "broken perfection," as we all are. I am woman enough to recognize my flaws and I try hard to do the best I can with them, but I fall sometimes b/c it's what I do as a human....I fall, but I get back up and dust myself off. I, however, do not need someone elses doubt in the midst of a fall....what I need, what we all need, is unconditional love and support that does not threaten to walk away at the slightest sign of having to do actual work in a relationship. I feel change in my life coming soon......I'm not sure in which direction, but whatever it is, I'll come out on top as I always do and be a better me for nobody but me. May 31 Self-LoveImagine A Woman
Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is woman, A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories, Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life. Imagine a woman who believes she is good, A woman who trusts and respects herself, Who listens to her own needs and desires and then meets them with tenderness and grace. Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the pasts influence on the present, A woman who has walked through her past, Who has healed into the present. Imagine a woman in love with her own body, A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is, Who celebrates her body as a trustworthy companion and its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource. Imagine a woman who embraces her sexuality as her own, A woman who delights in pleasuring herself, Who experiences all of her erotic feelings and sensations without shame or guilt. Imagine a woman who honors the face of the Goddess in her own changing face, A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf, Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and her wisest voice. Imagine a woman who names her own gods, A woman who imagines the divine in her own image and likeness, Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life. Imagine a woman who values the women in her life, A woman who sits in circles of women, Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets. Imagine a shameless woman who is full of herself. A powerful woman who has awakened to the truth about herself. A courageous woman who has assumed her rightful place beside men. A wise woman whose beliefs about herself are reflected in her relationships. May 24 For Better or WorseI love music...... sometimes song lyrics say what you're thinking w/out you having to say them!
Keith Urban - I Told You So LyricsYou said you needed your space I wasn't where you wanted to be I didn't stand in your way I only want you to be happy And so surprised am I to see you here tonight Well, can't you see that for worse or for better We're better together Please, just come back home And don't say that you're sorry And I won't say I told you so Sometimes in our lives We get to where we wonder if The long road that we're on Is heading in the same direction When it comes to you and me We're right where I know we should be Oh, can't you see that for worse or for better We're better together Please, just come back home And don't say that you're sorry And I won't say I told you so Sometimes it's like we're deep in nothing but love And the slightest thing can grow so foolishly Please Oh, can't you see that for worse or for better We're better together Please, just come back home And don't say that you're sorry And I won't say I told you so But I told you so Should have known better Than to leave me, baby Should have known better Than to leave me, darling May 23 MoneyI'm so tired of this being broke thing, that I'd like to try having money!! Not having money can affect my mood more quickly then anything else in a very negative way. I was having an awesome day and now I just want to go home, curl up and cry!!! I'm not at all stupid with money, I just don't make the necessary amount to cover my bills and weekly living expenses such as gas and food, which is rather depressing. Ho Hum! May 21 TryIt's funny how we can put our everything into something for someone and it still isn't good enough for them unless we perform it 100% of the time. I'm a forgiving person and do not expect perfection from any human being on this earth, but why does it seem expected of me. It's so hurtful to feel inside like you are doing good and making progress to hear that it's just okay and it hasn't been long enough. You come to the point when you almost do not want to try anymore b/c you do not expect yourself to be perfect, so why let someone else dictate who you are and how you act. When someone makes you feel that way, you do not want to try anymore b/c you give so much without expecting much in return....or someone expects you to make 100% of the effort while they just sit there and continue being who they've always been. Well, I'm someone new and I have different needs and wanting to be with me may require biting the bullet and going outside of your comfort zone and swallowing your pride and yes, saying something in the moment just to make me feel better....even if they feel it is forced. I do not think this is a huge deal b/c that's what a relationship is sacrifice and compromise..when there is a problem it should not been more on one person's shoulder then the other. Even if I carry the majority of the burden, it still takes two to make it work. Anyone who has ever tried for someone else and gets told it's not enough eventually quits trying and withdraws...this is not the path I want, but I can see myself taking it someday in the future. I've made leaps and bounds in what I've been working on, but it's still not enough. I sometimes wonder if my lack of living up to what he needs is someday going to be his reason for a way out..................... |
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